The goodbyes never cease, the pain never leaves
It squeezes at my heart, destroying my joy
It is overwhelming
overpowering
overshadowing
Life loses its brightness, the sky turns gray
People come, people go
To make a friend comes naturally
But then the goodbyes
Always the goodbyes. The end looms near
It's easy to say that it's not the end, really
Easy for others to say. They don't know
They care, to be sure, but they can't feel it
They can't feel the pain that becomes the life of an MK
The joy of new friends lifts the spirits
It is easy to live for the day
Carpe diem
Let tomorrow bring what it may
But we know all too well what tomorrow brings
It brings the grief, the pain of separation
The tears cried at the airport
Then the tears cried all alone
The sorrow that cannot be shared
The tears of solitude
Alone
Away from the masses who still have their friends
It's just a big cycle
Happiness, then pain
Friendship, then pain
Love and comradeship transcending the imagination, then pain
Many things, many people
But it always ends in pain
Funny how friendships can be
Stronger bonds can be formed
In two days sometimes than in two years
But can they stand the test of separation?
Can they rally against the pain of aloneness?
And at each goodbye our world crashes down
It all seems meaningless
The pain is indescribable
We move on, limping, licking our wounds
The deep cuts of goodbyes slowly heal
Leaving behind another scar
Another scar. Another mark to identify us as MK's
Another area of our lives
That has been sealed over in numbness
Scars that crisscross our lives
Each with a story to tell
A story that will probably never be heard
For who is there to tell?
The ones that can understand are few and far between
And they have enough scars of their own
And we wait. We take a breath and go on
We think that next time it will be different
We tell ourselves that it won't be so bad
But it will, we know that
It is the story of our lives
It is the price we pay for the life we live
It is the constant sacrifice
Hear us, for we have something to say
Care about us, for we are people too
Befriend us, for we are alone and scared
But do not pity us, for our pain is but
A small sacrifice in return for the path we have chosen
I am an MK
This is my life
-September 27, 2001
Thursday, September 27, 2001
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2 comments:
You hit it exactly. I was thinking just this weekend about adding another layer of scar tissue to my heart. I love the ending stanza... 'but do not pity us'. If you wrote this, you write very well.
Hey, thanks. I wrote this a couple of years ago, at the end of 11th grade, when all the seniors were leaving Ukarumpa. Most of my friends were in that class, and I felt so alone. But it truly was only a small price for the experience of growing up in PNG.
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