33 days to go... why is this taking so long?!?

Well, the countdown is progressing, though slowly, and things are starting to come together. Naomi has been doing a whole ton of work getting things ready for the wedding. I don't know how she does it all. I try to help when I can, but living this far away makes it seem like my involvement is somewhat limited. Even if I was living closer, I suppose there would still be things that I wouldn't be too much help at, like picking flowers and color schemes and such...

This last weekend was great. It actually was pretty busy with 'stuff', but the times we did have to just hang out and enjoy each others company was good. God gave us some good times of talking and learning and sharing, and that was great! God has been showing us both how awesome of a plan He had when He designed a man and a woman to come together and be able to support, love, cherish, teach, nurture, and understand each other. Marriage is going to be incredible, when we can express fully the love God has given us for each other.

So many times over the last nine months He has used one of us to meet the needs of the other through His grace and power. Each time it amazes me. So many things that I never even realized I was lacking have been met through Naomi's love and care for me. She encourages me, loves me, gently refuses to let me slip into the 'easy' way of living life, and shows me God's beauty and love in the things she says and does. She gives me opportunities to lead, to serve, and to see God at work in our lives. She stays with me even when I don't get things right the first time. She loves me despite everything, and that love can come only from a perfect Creator who designed us each to be exactly right for each other.

Another really neat opportunity God gave me this weekend was couched in a difficult situation for me. I have been praying for boldness in sharing my faith with others, and while I didn't have that opportunity exactly, He did give me a situation where He showed me His power and grace in speaking up and saying something even though it brought me way outside of my comfort zone. God gave me some words of encouragement for a man I know and respect very much, and it involved questioning a decision that from my perspective didn't seem quite right. I didn't know why God was leading me to say something, and I tried to resist it at first, but God made it pretty clear that I was supposed to speak to him about it. It was pretty scary. Who was I to question this Godly man in an area I felt unqualified to talk about? But I followed the Spirit's leading, and was richly blessed by Him to be able to have an honest and open discussion, and to learn from and grow closer to this man. He explained to me his reasoning and the leading that he was receiving from the Lord for the decision he had made. And God knew all that already, and whether or not anything I said made a difference is for the Lord to know. For me, it is good enough to know that for whatever reason, He wanted me to bring the subject up, and that by His grace I was able to get past my fear and say the words He had given me. It is an amazing thing to be scared silly by something, trust the Lord to provide, and then jump in headfirst. And it is truly a blessing to follow Him no matter where He leads. So maybe the next time God puts someone in my path with whom I can share His Word, I won't be so timid or reluctant to speak up.

Thank you, God, for your work in my life. Thank you for not letting me stay where I'm at, but for constantly leading and drawing me closer to You. I want to serve You with all my heart, and while that isn't always easy, and is never possible on my own strength, You give more grace, more strength, and more peace in the struggle. Thank you for being there in every season of my life, Lord. Thank you for the people you've put in my life to encourage, teach, grow, and love me. You are amazing, my Lord and my King!

34 days!... and I'm tired...

Naomi and I had an awesome weekend together, and lots and lots of God working in both of us. Lots of cool stuff, and I want to share it with all of you, but right now it's 11:45, and I need to head to bed soon. So tomorrow it is. But I wanted to write and at least say that God is sovereign, awesome, loving, and just truly, truly amazing. And I can't wait to tell you more!

Still 36 days... or 35 and a half, I guess...

I'm down in Waxhaw now, and it's been a great evening. While it isn't fun to spend this much time apart from Naomi, it does make us both appreciate even more the time we do get to spend together. God is good, and it's comforting to know that He truly is a sovereign God, and that nothing takes Him by surprise. There's a lot of things right now that I would really like to know the answers to, and it's easy to worry about them, but that's not the right response. God uses times of uncertainty to turn our gaze upward to Him, to replace our self-reliance with God-reliance, and to seek peace in His unchanging sovereignty.
God has been amazing me with His... awesomeness, I guess... a lot recently. Lots of cool stuff happening in Naomi's and my lives of late, and God is challenging us both in lots of different areas, getting us ready for a new level of commitment... It's been tough, but incredible. God isn't always 'safe', but He is always Good. And while it isn't easy to keep my gaze focused on Him all the time, He gives more grace, and He doesn't let go.

Truly amazing...

I lost count... no, wait... 36 more days!

So I might not get a chance to post a 'real' something today, but I wanted to update the countdown and keep the trend going, at any rate.

As soon as my classes are done today I'm heading down to Waxhaw to see my beloved fiancee, and spend the weekend with her and my family. We're going to get our marriage license this afternoon, which is cool, and then we've got a date planned tonight, which I'm also looking forward to. With all this wedding planning going on, it seems that recently we've been spending a lot of time 'doing stuff' instead of spending time focusing on developing our relationship. So this is good.

That's something I really, really don't want to lose. I think it's not so easy to keep up the 'dating' mentality once a couple gets married. All the little special things they used to do for each other when they were dating fall to the side. The difference can be pretty huge between 'girlfriend' and 'fiancee' and 'wife'. And yet God calls us me to love our wives as we love ourselves, and to me, that means stepping it up a notch, not letting back down.

Anyway, there's lots more I want to write, but don't have time right now. So in the meantime, here's a couple of posts from some good marriage blogs I'm reading.

• Marriage Actually - Say What?
• The Art of Intimacy - Twenty Five Tips to Stay Married
• I Am Husband - Sex Begins in the Kitchen

Lord, grant me your love today, and let me show that love to Naomi as I spend time with her this weekend. Give me words that build up, that bring her closer to You, that encourage her. Let me be an example, and a leader in our relationship. Lord, I can't do this alone. I invite you once again into my life today, and I give you complete control of my thoughts, my words, and my actions. Let me be an example, an encouragement, and a witness. Let me be a mirror that reflects your Light into the world.

The results are in... 37 days left!

37 days, but today has been a good one, and if the rest of the them are like this, the time will fly by...

I did spend two hours this morning praying, worshiping, and reading the Word, and it was... more than I expected. I was a little apprehensive that it would somehow be a disappointment. Totally the wrong thing to expect about time spent with the Lord, but for some reason I was worried that He wouldn't meet me there. How wrong I was!

It wasn't one of the incredibly life-changing moments with God that I've had in the past, but God definitely showed up, and in a big way. I was praying that He would use the time to convict me of areas of sin in my life and to renew my passion for Him. And He did.


Once more, God pointed out to me that I need to make more of an effort in witnessing to those around me, and spreading His love to the people in my life. He showed me areas of my life in which I've been selfish with my time or energy or love for others.

He showed me how very little time I give to Him each day spent in worship and communion with the Spirit. And He gave me little reminders throughout the day to spend a few moments talking with Him and seeking His will for my life.

He reminded me of the incredible sacrifice He gave through sending Christ to die for my sins, and the power over sin that Jesus' death on the cross gives. He truly gave me a heart of worship this morning, and it made a huge difference in the rest of my day.

He once again showed me the importance of starting my day off with uninterrupted time spent studying the Word, praying, and worshiping. My quiet time in the mornings has been getting shorter and more rushed, and much more shallow. He gave me a vision for what incredible things He will do when I devote more time to Him and less to things of this world. He showed me a glimpse of His incredible beauty and awesome sacrifice.

It was a morning spent in renewal, and was without a doubt time well spent. My next step is to turn this into a habit. I may not have two hours each and every morning like I had today, but there is definitely lots more available time in my mornings than I have been giving to Him in the past. My prayer is that He would let this be only the beginning of a new turn in the road of my walk with Him. The power and majesty of God that I saw this morning is something I don't want to give up.

Lord, give me a heart that yearns for you with everything I have within me. Take this seed you planted in my life and grow it into a life fully devoted to furthering your kingdom. Give me a mind that is fully stayed on you, the Author and Perfecter of my faith. Give me a heart that worships you in every season of my life. Give me the will to put you first in my actions, my thoughts, and my priorities. You alone are worthy of all praise and all worship. You are God alone. Take my life and do what you will with it. I ask these things in the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

The count goes on... 38 days left!

38 days to go... why does it seem like each day is longer than the one before? I am trying so very hard to be patient... I don't think I've ever been as excited about something in my life as this. Getting married is world changing!


Why is it that I don't think of my relationship with Christ the same way? The fires in my soul that once burned so hotly seem to have diminshed over the years. Where is the passion I once had for serving God with every bone in my body?


I need to make a 'date' with God. Geoff at 'Reflections of a Snook' had the right idea, and I share some of the same fears that he had, as well. I am scared that maybe God won't show up... that there is something fundamentally wrong with me that is keeping me from Him. But the least I can do is show up and call on Him. I do spend time with Him each day, and He's given me the focus and grace to make a daily habit of reading from the Word each morning before I get started with the day. But it feels rushed and careless most of the time. Almost like a chore instead of a joyful offering. I need to make time in my schedule for this. Just trying to find some time in between other things won't work. I'll never get around to it.

So tomorrow morning I'm getting up early enough to spend a couple of hours just with Him. No checking email or Facebook, no reading the news... Just a morning alone with God. Pray for focus and clarity of mind, and for a renewal of my heart to serve Jesus with everything that I am. I need this.

Lord, I give myself to you. Everything that I am. Everything I dream of becoming and doing. Every joy and sadness, pain and pleasure... I lay it all down at your feet. There is nothing on this earth that compares to the riches of your love and mercy. Lord, give me a mind undivided. A soul that seeks to know and follow hard after you, no matter what the cost. Show me again your love and forgiveness, your mercy and grace. I need you, Jesus, more than I even realize. Let me depend wholly on you for every good thing. Forgive me for seeking joy and pleasure from things of this world instead of from you. I love you, Father.