The count goes on... 38 days left!

38 days to go... why does it seem like each day is longer than the one before? I am trying so very hard to be patient... I don't think I've ever been as excited about something in my life as this. Getting married is world changing!


Why is it that I don't think of my relationship with Christ the same way? The fires in my soul that once burned so hotly seem to have diminshed over the years. Where is the passion I once had for serving God with every bone in my body?


I need to make a 'date' with God. Geoff at 'Reflections of a Snook' had the right idea, and I share some of the same fears that he had, as well. I am scared that maybe God won't show up... that there is something fundamentally wrong with me that is keeping me from Him. But the least I can do is show up and call on Him. I do spend time with Him each day, and He's given me the focus and grace to make a daily habit of reading from the Word each morning before I get started with the day. But it feels rushed and careless most of the time. Almost like a chore instead of a joyful offering. I need to make time in my schedule for this. Just trying to find some time in between other things won't work. I'll never get around to it.

So tomorrow morning I'm getting up early enough to spend a couple of hours just with Him. No checking email or Facebook, no reading the news... Just a morning alone with God. Pray for focus and clarity of mind, and for a renewal of my heart to serve Jesus with everything that I am. I need this.

Lord, I give myself to you. Everything that I am. Everything I dream of becoming and doing. Every joy and sadness, pain and pleasure... I lay it all down at your feet. There is nothing on this earth that compares to the riches of your love and mercy. Lord, give me a mind undivided. A soul that seeks to know and follow hard after you, no matter what the cost. Show me again your love and forgiveness, your mercy and grace. I need you, Jesus, more than I even realize. Let me depend wholly on you for every good thing. Forgive me for seeking joy and pleasure from things of this world instead of from you. I love you, Father.