Well, starting tomorrow, I can begin saying 'I get married this month!' Yay! I'm so excited. This past week has been a little rough for Naomi and I. Communicating well has, in general, been something that God had blessed us richly with. But this week has been a bit strained at times. Both of us have been kind of busy, and the times we get to talk on the phone or Skype hasn't been too high quality. But God is awesome (as He always is), and has given us a lot of grace and patience with each other, and has used the struggles to draw us closer to Him, and to each other as well. It feels to me like He accomplishes the most in the uncomfortable times in my life. One thing He has taught me, though, is that I can praise Him even in the storms of life. Even when the world seems to come crashing down, He is still there, is still Sovereign, is still a loving, compassionate, and tender King. And I will praise Him all the days of my life!
Lord, I love You. I praise You. I worship and adore You. I choose to serve you in every moment of every day by the power of Your Spirit living in me. Truly You are my all in all, Lord. May your Name be exalted over all the earth!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
31 days left!... and this too is a process...
I was reading today from 'My Utmost for His Highest', and was prompted by the Lord to reevaluate the motivations behind my thoughts and actions. If you read this book, you'll notice that I'm a couple of days behind (this is the July 28th reading), but here's the passage that made me stop and think:
That's not what God has in mind at all. He is teaching me obedience to Him in waiting. Testing and building my faith in Him in all circumstances. Faith in God's perfect plan is easy when things seem to be moving along nicely. Not so easy, however, when things seem to go wrong or just to be at a standstill.
If only I had realized this during past 'dry spells' in my spiritual life. They didn't happen because I was somehow not 'close enough' to God. They happened because He was trying to turn my heart back to unconditional obedience to His will. Trying to do things on my own strength is pushing God out of the picture. And He was gracious enough to allow me to see how futile that is. God definitely calls us to action in service to Him, but the difference between what I was trying to do and what He wants me to do is that that action can only be through Him. Not 'what I need to do', but 'what God needs to do through me.'
Father, I submit to your will in all things. I praise you for your sovereign plan for everything. I worship you, Lord, and I cast down my life at your feet. Whether it is times when you call me to action, or times when you call me to obedience to Your will in being still and waiting on You. Give me a heart that seeks after you, Jesus. A heart that is obedient in all things. The consequences and results of my actions are not for me to worry about. Everything I say and do belongs fully and only to You. I wait on You, Lord. Give me the wisdom to learn from every moment of my life. I love You, my Father, my King, my Savior.
God's training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.
God's purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.
-quoted from 'My Utmost for His Highest, An Updated Edition in Today's Language' by Oswald Chambers. Edited by James Reimman. Discovery House Publishers, 1992
Wow. I have been trying to make myself wait patiently for God, to be at peace in the 'here-and-now', and to leave things in His Almighty hands. But I didn't look on these waiting periods as God's training in my life. Instead I saw them as trials to be endured.
That's not what God has in mind at all. He is teaching me obedience to Him in waiting. Testing and building my faith in Him in all circumstances. Faith in God's perfect plan is easy when things seem to be moving along nicely. Not so easy, however, when things seem to go wrong or just to be at a standstill.
If only I had realized this during past 'dry spells' in my spiritual life. They didn't happen because I was somehow not 'close enough' to God. They happened because He was trying to turn my heart back to unconditional obedience to His will. Trying to do things on my own strength is pushing God out of the picture. And He was gracious enough to allow me to see how futile that is. God definitely calls us to action in service to Him, but the difference between what I was trying to do and what He wants me to do is that that action can only be through Him. Not 'what I need to do', but 'what God needs to do through me.'
Father, I submit to your will in all things. I praise you for your sovereign plan for everything. I worship you, Lord, and I cast down my life at your feet. Whether it is times when you call me to action, or times when you call me to obedience to Your will in being still and waiting on You. Give me a heart that seeks after you, Jesus. A heart that is obedient in all things. The consequences and results of my actions are not for me to worry about. Everything I say and do belongs fully and only to You. I wait on You, Lord. Give me the wisdom to learn from every moment of my life. I love You, my Father, my King, my Savior.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
32 days... or when God says 'wait'
Sometimes we can clearly hear God give us a 'yes' or a 'no' to a request we've put before Him. Sometimes He speaks to us directly through His Spirit, sometimes He uses other people or events to give us an answer, and sometimes He speaks through His Word. We're not always happy with the answer we get. We don't understand why God doesn't do things the way we think they should be done. We don't understand why He said 'no' instead of 'yes'.
Even harder than getting an answer that I don't expect or want to hear from God is getting an answer that simply says 'wait'. And that's the answer that I got today from Him. Naomi and I have been praying about a big decision in our lives and we thought we had heard Him give us an answer. We acted on that, and went ahead with where we thought He was leading. Today something came up that makes it seem like we might not have made the right decision.
I was confused, and angry at myself. I thought I hadn't heard God right, and had acted in my own interests instead of His. I immediately started trying to figure out how I could change things, and take another route on this problem. I spent a lot of the day in prayer, seeking God's will. I was looking for guidance in where to proceed from here. I was ready to go do whatever it was that He wanted. I wanted to take action to 'fix things'.
And the answer I got was... 'Wait'.
Well, that's not what I wanted to hear. I wanted something I could act on. Something concrete that I could start doing. Phone calls to make, things to reorganize and re-plan. But God really impressed on me that all things work together in His time. He didn't say that we will or won't have to change plans. He didn't say that I'd messed it all up, or that I'd gotten it right the first time. He just said that the thing to do right now was to wait on Him.
I don't know why. I can't even begin to imagine all the plans God has. All I have is what I can see from my vanishingly small human perspective. And right now, God is telling me that He can see the big picture, and He is still sovereign, and He controls the future. Not me.
It was a good reminder to me. Sometimes it's easy to forget that even a 'yes' from God can be a 'yes, but not right now'. It's hard to wait on the Lord. But I know it will be worth it. I'm excited to see Him work.
Lord, I ask that you grant me patience. I want to do something now. I don't want to wait. Please forgive me for not trusting that you are in control of this situation. I give to you my impatient heart, and ask that you mold it into a heart that waits for You. A heart that is in tune with Yours. A heart that doesn't need to understand all the circumstances, but trusts You in everything even when I can't see where I'm going. Thank you, Jesus.
Even harder than getting an answer that I don't expect or want to hear from God is getting an answer that simply says 'wait'. And that's the answer that I got today from Him. Naomi and I have been praying about a big decision in our lives and we thought we had heard Him give us an answer. We acted on that, and went ahead with where we thought He was leading. Today something came up that makes it seem like we might not have made the right decision.
I was confused, and angry at myself. I thought I hadn't heard God right, and had acted in my own interests instead of His. I immediately started trying to figure out how I could change things, and take another route on this problem. I spent a lot of the day in prayer, seeking God's will. I was looking for guidance in where to proceed from here. I was ready to go do whatever it was that He wanted. I wanted to take action to 'fix things'.
And the answer I got was... 'Wait'.
Well, that's not what I wanted to hear. I wanted something I could act on. Something concrete that I could start doing. Phone calls to make, things to reorganize and re-plan. But God really impressed on me that all things work together in His time. He didn't say that we will or won't have to change plans. He didn't say that I'd messed it all up, or that I'd gotten it right the first time. He just said that the thing to do right now was to wait on Him.
I don't know why. I can't even begin to imagine all the plans God has. All I have is what I can see from my vanishingly small human perspective. And right now, God is telling me that He can see the big picture, and He is still sovereign, and He controls the future. Not me.
It was a good reminder to me. Sometimes it's easy to forget that even a 'yes' from God can be a 'yes, but not right now'. It's hard to wait on the Lord. But I know it will be worth it. I'm excited to see Him work.
Lord, I ask that you grant me patience. I want to do something now. I don't want to wait. Please forgive me for not trusting that you are in control of this situation. I give to you my impatient heart, and ask that you mold it into a heart that waits for You. A heart that is in tune with Yours. A heart that doesn't need to understand all the circumstances, but trusts You in everything even when I can't see where I'm going. Thank you, Jesus.
Monday, July 28, 2008
33 days to go... why is this taking so long?!?
Well, the countdown is progressing, though slowly, and things are starting to come together. Naomi has been doing a whole ton of work getting things ready for the wedding. I don't know how she does it all. I try to help when I can, but living this far away makes it seem like my involvement is somewhat limited. Even if I was living closer, I suppose there would still be things that I wouldn't be too much help at, like picking flowers and color schemes and such...
This last weekend was great. It actually was pretty busy with 'stuff', but the times we did have to just hang out and enjoy each others company was good. God gave us some good times of talking and learning and sharing, and that was great! God has been showing us both how awesome of a plan He had when He designed a man and a woman to come together and be able to support, love, cherish, teach, nurture, and understand each other. Marriage is going to be incredible, when we can express fully the love God has given us for each other.
So many times over the last nine months He has used one of us to meet the needs of the other through His grace and power. Each time it amazes me. So many things that I never even realized I was lacking have been met through Naomi's love and care for me. She encourages me, loves me, gently refuses to let me slip into the 'easy' way of living life, and shows me God's beauty and love in the things she says and does. She gives me opportunities to lead, to serve, and to see God at work in our lives. She stays with me even when I don't get things right the first time. She loves me despite everything, and that love can come only from a perfect Creator who designed us each to be exactly right for each other.
Another really neat opportunity God gave me this weekend was couched in a difficult situation for me. I have been praying for boldness in sharing my faith with others, and while I didn't have that opportunity exactly, He did give me a situation where He showed me His power and grace in speaking up and saying something even though it brought me way outside of my comfort zone. God gave me some words of encouragement for a man I know and respect very much, and it involved questioning a decision that from my perspective didn't seem quite right. I didn't know why God was leading me to say something, and I tried to resist it at first, but God made it pretty clear that I was supposed to speak to him about it. It was pretty scary. Who was I to question this Godly man in an area I felt unqualified to talk about? But I followed the Spirit's leading, and was richly blessed by Him to be able to have an honest and open discussion, and to learn from and grow closer to this man. He explained to me his reasoning and the leading that he was receiving from the Lord for the decision he had made. And God knew all that already, and whether or not anything I said made a difference is for the Lord to know. For me, it is good enough to know that for whatever reason, He wanted me to bring the subject up, and that by His grace I was able to get past my fear and say the words He had given me. It is an amazing thing to be scared silly by something, trust the Lord to provide, and then jump in headfirst. And it is truly a blessing to follow Him no matter where He leads. So maybe the next time God puts someone in my path with whom I can share His Word, I won't be so timid or reluctant to speak up.
Thank you, God, for your work in my life. Thank you for not letting me stay where I'm at, but for constantly leading and drawing me closer to You. I want to serve You with all my heart, and while that isn't always easy, and is never possible on my own strength, You give more grace, more strength, and more peace in the struggle. Thank you for being there in every season of my life, Lord. Thank you for the people you've put in my life to encourage, teach, grow, and love me. You are amazing, my Lord and my King!
This last weekend was great. It actually was pretty busy with 'stuff', but the times we did have to just hang out and enjoy each others company was good. God gave us some good times of talking and learning and sharing, and that was great! God has been showing us both how awesome of a plan He had when He designed a man and a woman to come together and be able to support, love, cherish, teach, nurture, and understand each other. Marriage is going to be incredible, when we can express fully the love God has given us for each other.
So many times over the last nine months He has used one of us to meet the needs of the other through His grace and power. Each time it amazes me. So many things that I never even realized I was lacking have been met through Naomi's love and care for me. She encourages me, loves me, gently refuses to let me slip into the 'easy' way of living life, and shows me God's beauty and love in the things she says and does. She gives me opportunities to lead, to serve, and to see God at work in our lives. She stays with me even when I don't get things right the first time. She loves me despite everything, and that love can come only from a perfect Creator who designed us each to be exactly right for each other.
Another really neat opportunity God gave me this weekend was couched in a difficult situation for me. I have been praying for boldness in sharing my faith with others, and while I didn't have that opportunity exactly, He did give me a situation where He showed me His power and grace in speaking up and saying something even though it brought me way outside of my comfort zone. God gave me some words of encouragement for a man I know and respect very much, and it involved questioning a decision that from my perspective didn't seem quite right. I didn't know why God was leading me to say something, and I tried to resist it at first, but God made it pretty clear that I was supposed to speak to him about it. It was pretty scary. Who was I to question this Godly man in an area I felt unqualified to talk about? But I followed the Spirit's leading, and was richly blessed by Him to be able to have an honest and open discussion, and to learn from and grow closer to this man. He explained to me his reasoning and the leading that he was receiving from the Lord for the decision he had made. And God knew all that already, and whether or not anything I said made a difference is for the Lord to know. For me, it is good enough to know that for whatever reason, He wanted me to bring the subject up, and that by His grace I was able to get past my fear and say the words He had given me. It is an amazing thing to be scared silly by something, trust the Lord to provide, and then jump in headfirst. And it is truly a blessing to follow Him no matter where He leads. So maybe the next time God puts someone in my path with whom I can share His Word, I won't be so timid or reluctant to speak up.
Thank you, God, for your work in my life. Thank you for not letting me stay where I'm at, but for constantly leading and drawing me closer to You. I want to serve You with all my heart, and while that isn't always easy, and is never possible on my own strength, You give more grace, more strength, and more peace in the struggle. Thank you for being there in every season of my life, Lord. Thank you for the people you've put in my life to encourage, teach, grow, and love me. You are amazing, my Lord and my King!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
34 days!... and I'm tired...
Naomi and I had an awesome weekend together, and lots and lots of God working in both of us. Lots of cool stuff, and I want to share it with all of you, but right now it's 11:45, and I need to head to bed soon. So tomorrow it is. But I wanted to write and at least say that God is sovereign, awesome, loving, and just truly, truly amazing. And I can't wait to tell you more!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Still 36 days... or 35 and a half, I guess...
I'm down in Waxhaw now, and it's been a great evening. While it isn't fun to spend this much time apart from Naomi, it does make us both appreciate even more the time we do get to spend together. God is good, and it's comforting to know that He truly is a sovereign God, and that nothing takes Him by surprise. There's a lot of things right now that I would really like to know the answers to, and it's easy to worry about them, but that's not the right response. God uses times of uncertainty to turn our gaze upward to Him, to replace our self-reliance with God-reliance, and to seek peace in His unchanging sovereignty.
God has been amazing me with His... awesomeness, I guess... a lot recently. Lots of cool stuff happening in Naomi's and my lives of late, and God is challenging us both in lots of different areas, getting us ready for a new level of commitment... It's been tough, but incredible. God isn't always 'safe', but He is always Good. And while it isn't easy to keep my gaze focused on Him all the time, He gives more grace, and He doesn't let go.
Truly amazing...
God has been amazing me with His... awesomeness, I guess... a lot recently. Lots of cool stuff happening in Naomi's and my lives of late, and God is challenging us both in lots of different areas, getting us ready for a new level of commitment... It's been tough, but incredible. God isn't always 'safe', but He is always Good. And while it isn't easy to keep my gaze focused on Him all the time, He gives more grace, and He doesn't let go.
Truly amazing...
Friday, July 25, 2008
I lost count... no, wait... 36 more days!
So I might not get a chance to post a 'real' something today, but I wanted to update the countdown and keep the trend going, at any rate.
As soon as my classes are done today I'm heading down to Waxhaw to see my beloved fiancee, and spend the weekend with her and my family. We're going to get our marriage license this afternoon, which is cool, and then we've got a date planned tonight, which I'm also looking forward to. With all this wedding planning going on, it seems that recently we've been spending a lot of time 'doing stuff' instead of spending time focusing on developing our relationship. So this is good.
That's something I really, really don't want to lose. I think it's not so easy to keep up the 'dating' mentality once a couple gets married. All the little special things they used to do for each other when they were dating fall to the side. The difference can be pretty huge between 'girlfriend' and 'fiancee' and 'wife'. And yet God calls us me to love our wives as we love ourselves, and to me, that means stepping it up a notch, not letting back down.
Anyway, there's lots more I want to write, but don't have time right now. So in the meantime, here's a couple of posts from some good marriage blogs I'm reading.
Lord, grant me your love today, and let me show that love to Naomi as I spend time with her this weekend. Give me words that build up, that bring her closer to You, that encourage her. Let me be an example, and a leader in our relationship. Lord, I can't do this alone. I invite you once again into my life today, and I give you complete control of my thoughts, my words, and my actions. Let me be an example, an encouragement, and a witness. Let me be a mirror that reflects your Light into the world.
As soon as my classes are done today I'm heading down to Waxhaw to see my beloved fiancee, and spend the weekend with her and my family. We're going to get our marriage license this afternoon, which is cool, and then we've got a date planned tonight, which I'm also looking forward to. With all this wedding planning going on, it seems that recently we've been spending a lot of time 'doing stuff' instead of spending time focusing on developing our relationship. So this is good.
That's something I really, really don't want to lose. I think it's not so easy to keep up the 'dating' mentality once a couple gets married. All the little special things they used to do for each other when they were dating fall to the side. The difference can be pretty huge between 'girlfriend' and 'fiancee' and 'wife'. And yet God calls us me to love our wives as we love ourselves, and to me, that means stepping it up a notch, not letting back down.
Anyway, there's lots more I want to write, but don't have time right now. So in the meantime, here's a couple of posts from some good marriage blogs I'm reading.
- Marriage Actually - Say What?
- The Art of Intimacy - Twenty Five Tips to Stay Married
- I Am Husband - Sex Begins in the Kitchen
Lord, grant me your love today, and let me show that love to Naomi as I spend time with her this weekend. Give me words that build up, that bring her closer to You, that encourage her. Let me be an example, and a leader in our relationship. Lord, I can't do this alone. I invite you once again into my life today, and I give you complete control of my thoughts, my words, and my actions. Let me be an example, an encouragement, and a witness. Let me be a mirror that reflects your Light into the world.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The results are in... 37 days left!
37 days, but today has been a good one, and if the rest of the them are like this, the time will fly by...
I did spend two hours this morning praying, worshiping, and reading the Word, and it was... more than I expected. I was a little apprehensive that it would somehow be a disappointment. Totally the wrong thing to expect about time spent with the Lord, but for some reason I was worried that He wouldn't meet me there. How wrong I was!
It wasn't one of the incredibly life-changing moments with God that I've had in the past, but God definitely showed up, and in a big way. I was praying that He would use the time to convict me of areas of sin in my life and to renew my passion for Him. And He did.
Once more, God pointed out to me that I need to make more of an effort in witnessing to those around me, and spreading His love to the people in my life. He showed me areas of my life in which I've been selfish with my time or energy or love for others.
He showed me how very little time I give to Him each day spent in worship and communion with the Spirit. And He gave me little reminders throughout the day to spend a few moments talking with Him and seeking His will for my life.
He reminded me of the incredible sacrifice He gave through sending Christ to die for my sins, and the power over sin that Jesus' death on the cross gives. He truly gave me a heart of worship this morning, and it made a huge difference in the rest of my day.
He once again showed me the importance of starting my day off with uninterrupted time spent studying the Word, praying, and worshiping. My quiet time in the mornings has been getting shorter and more rushed, and much more shallow. He gave me a vision for what incredible things He will do when I devote more time to Him and less to things of this world. He showed me a glimpse of His incredible beauty and awesome sacrifice.
It was a morning spent in renewal, and was without a doubt time well spent. My next step is to turn this into a habit. I may not have two hours each and every morning like I had today, but there is definitely lots more available time in my mornings than I have been giving to Him in the past. My prayer is that He would let this be only the beginning of a new turn in the road of my walk with Him. The power and majesty of God that I saw this morning is something I don't want to give up.
Lord, give me a heart that yearns for you with everything I have within me. Take this seed you planted in my life and grow it into a life fully devoted to furthering your kingdom. Give me a mind that is fully stayed on you, the Author and Perfecter of my faith. Give me a heart that worships you in every season of my life. Give me the will to put you first in my actions, my thoughts, and my priorities. You alone are worthy of all praise and all worship. You are God alone. Take my life and do what you will with it. I ask these things in the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I did spend two hours this morning praying, worshiping, and reading the Word, and it was... more than I expected. I was a little apprehensive that it would somehow be a disappointment. Totally the wrong thing to expect about time spent with the Lord, but for some reason I was worried that He wouldn't meet me there. How wrong I was!
It wasn't one of the incredibly life-changing moments with God that I've had in the past, but God definitely showed up, and in a big way. I was praying that He would use the time to convict me of areas of sin in my life and to renew my passion for Him. And He did.
Once more, God pointed out to me that I need to make more of an effort in witnessing to those around me, and spreading His love to the people in my life. He showed me areas of my life in which I've been selfish with my time or energy or love for others.
He showed me how very little time I give to Him each day spent in worship and communion with the Spirit. And He gave me little reminders throughout the day to spend a few moments talking with Him and seeking His will for my life.
He reminded me of the incredible sacrifice He gave through sending Christ to die for my sins, and the power over sin that Jesus' death on the cross gives. He truly gave me a heart of worship this morning, and it made a huge difference in the rest of my day.
He once again showed me the importance of starting my day off with uninterrupted time spent studying the Word, praying, and worshiping. My quiet time in the mornings has been getting shorter and more rushed, and much more shallow. He gave me a vision for what incredible things He will do when I devote more time to Him and less to things of this world. He showed me a glimpse of His incredible beauty and awesome sacrifice.
It was a morning spent in renewal, and was without a doubt time well spent. My next step is to turn this into a habit. I may not have two hours each and every morning like I had today, but there is definitely lots more available time in my mornings than I have been giving to Him in the past. My prayer is that He would let this be only the beginning of a new turn in the road of my walk with Him. The power and majesty of God that I saw this morning is something I don't want to give up.
Lord, give me a heart that yearns for you with everything I have within me. Take this seed you planted in my life and grow it into a life fully devoted to furthering your kingdom. Give me a mind that is fully stayed on you, the Author and Perfecter of my faith. Give me a heart that worships you in every season of my life. Give me the will to put you first in my actions, my thoughts, and my priorities. You alone are worthy of all praise and all worship. You are God alone. Take my life and do what you will with it. I ask these things in the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
The count goes on... 38 days left!
38 days to go... why does it seem like each day is longer than the one before? I am trying so very hard to be patient... I don't think I've ever been as excited about something in my life as this. Getting married is world changing!
Why is it that I don't think of my relationship with Christ the same way? The fires in my soul that once burned so hotly seem to have diminshed over the years. Where is the passion I once had for serving God with every bone in my body?
I need to make a 'date' with God. Geoff at 'Reflections of a Snook' had the right idea, and I share some of the same fears that he had, as well. I am scared that maybe God won't show up... that there is something fundamentally wrong with me that is keeping me from Him. But the least I can do is show up and call on Him. I do spend time with Him each day, and He's given me the focus and grace to make a daily habit of reading from the Word each morning before I get started with the day. But it feels rushed and careless most of the time. Almost like a chore instead of a joyful offering. I need to make time in my schedule for this. Just trying to find some time in between other things won't work. I'll never get around to it.
So tomorrow morning I'm getting up early enough to spend a couple of hours just with Him. No checking email or Facebook, no reading the news... Just a morning alone with God. Pray for focus and clarity of mind, and for a renewal of my heart to serve Jesus with everything that I am. I need this.
Lord, I give myself to you. Everything that I am. Everything I dream of becoming and doing. Every joy and sadness, pain and pleasure... I lay it all down at your feet. There is nothing on this earth that compares to the riches of your love and mercy. Lord, give me a mind undivided. A soul that seeks to know and follow hard after you, no matter what the cost. Show me again your love and forgiveness, your mercy and grace. I need you, Jesus, more than I even realize. Let me depend wholly on you for every good thing. Forgive me for seeking joy and pleasure from things of this world instead of from you. I love you, Father.
Why is it that I don't think of my relationship with Christ the same way? The fires in my soul that once burned so hotly seem to have diminshed over the years. Where is the passion I once had for serving God with every bone in my body?
I need to make a 'date' with God. Geoff at 'Reflections of a Snook' had the right idea, and I share some of the same fears that he had, as well. I am scared that maybe God won't show up... that there is something fundamentally wrong with me that is keeping me from Him. But the least I can do is show up and call on Him. I do spend time with Him each day, and He's given me the focus and grace to make a daily habit of reading from the Word each morning before I get started with the day. But it feels rushed and careless most of the time. Almost like a chore instead of a joyful offering. I need to make time in my schedule for this. Just trying to find some time in between other things won't work. I'll never get around to it.
So tomorrow morning I'm getting up early enough to spend a couple of hours just with Him. No checking email or Facebook, no reading the news... Just a morning alone with God. Pray for focus and clarity of mind, and for a renewal of my heart to serve Jesus with everything that I am. I need this.
Lord, I give myself to you. Everything that I am. Everything I dream of becoming and doing. Every joy and sadness, pain and pleasure... I lay it all down at your feet. There is nothing on this earth that compares to the riches of your love and mercy. Lord, give me a mind undivided. A soul that seeks to know and follow hard after you, no matter what the cost. Show me again your love and forgiveness, your mercy and grace. I need you, Jesus, more than I even realize. Let me depend wholly on you for every good thing. Forgive me for seeking joy and pleasure from things of this world instead of from you. I love you, Father.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
39 days and counting
The invitations are mostly in envelopes, now, and should be in the mail soon. Those of you living overseas might not see them for a little while yet, but the rest should start showing up in mailboxes soon. Every day seems to go by slower and slower now... And in some ways, that's good. God still has things to teach us both while we're in this transitory stage of life, and He has definitely been doing that.
We started reading "Your God is too Safe", by Mark Buchanan a few days ago. We've been reading books together off and on since we started dating. Each reading a chapter at a time, and then talking about what we read on the phone at night. We've read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge, "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge, "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris, and "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It's a great way to get talking about things that might not normally come up in conversation, and I highly recommend it for any couples out there doing long-distance relationships.
Anyway, in the first few chapters of "Your God is too Safe", Buchanan talks about living in 'the borderland'... that place in life between accepting Christ as one's Savior and plunging whole-heartedly into service of Him and His kingdom. It's a place where I've often felt that I am living. It is especially easy (for me) to fall into the rut of not sharing my faith with the people I interact with every day. Christ calls us to share the Good News with everyone. "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations..." (Matthew 28:19, NIV). That's a command that I fail at each and every day. God doesn't call every Christian to pack up and move to another country to spread the Word, but He does call each of us to witness to those around us. At work, at school, in the grocery store, on the bus. There are so many opportunities that I miss because of fear of what people will think of me, fear of rejection or scorn, or fear of making myself look foolish.
God has really been digging into this area of my life of late. Partly through reading this book, and also through my study of the Word each day and my quiet times with Him. I have a horrible track record so far, but I need to start somewhere. I just don't know where. I could really use some prayer for this. Thanks.
Lord, please give me the opportunities to share your Light with the world, and the boldness to say the words you give me. Let me not rely on my own strength or purpose, but to depend solely on You for each word that comes out of my mouth. Lord, take my pride, turn it into humility to serve in each and every way you would have me do. I desire to serve you, Lord, and yet I know that I don't have the capacity within myself for even that. I pray for your Spirit in my life to direct and guide my every step, and that every thing I do would serve to further your kingdom here on earth. Let me not fear man, but to fear You and You only, the king and master of my life.
We started reading "Your God is too Safe", by Mark Buchanan a few days ago. We've been reading books together off and on since we started dating. Each reading a chapter at a time, and then talking about what we read on the phone at night. We've read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge, "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge, "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris, and "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It's a great way to get talking about things that might not normally come up in conversation, and I highly recommend it for any couples out there doing long-distance relationships.
Anyway, in the first few chapters of "Your God is too Safe", Buchanan talks about living in 'the borderland'... that place in life between accepting Christ as one's Savior and plunging whole-heartedly into service of Him and His kingdom. It's a place where I've often felt that I am living. It is especially easy (for me) to fall into the rut of not sharing my faith with the people I interact with every day. Christ calls us to share the Good News with everyone. "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations..." (Matthew 28:19, NIV). That's a command that I fail at each and every day. God doesn't call every Christian to pack up and move to another country to spread the Word, but He does call each of us to witness to those around us. At work, at school, in the grocery store, on the bus. There are so many opportunities that I miss because of fear of what people will think of me, fear of rejection or scorn, or fear of making myself look foolish.
God has really been digging into this area of my life of late. Partly through reading this book, and also through my study of the Word each day and my quiet times with Him. I have a horrible track record so far, but I need to start somewhere. I just don't know where. I could really use some prayer for this. Thanks.
Lord, please give me the opportunities to share your Light with the world, and the boldness to say the words you give me. Let me not rely on my own strength or purpose, but to depend solely on You for each word that comes out of my mouth. Lord, take my pride, turn it into humility to serve in each and every way you would have me do. I desire to serve you, Lord, and yet I know that I don't have the capacity within myself for even that. I pray for your Spirit in my life to direct and guide my every step, and that every thing I do would serve to further your kingdom here on earth. Let me not fear man, but to fear You and You only, the king and master of my life.
Monday, July 21, 2008
40 Days!
40 days...
The length of time Noah and his family was in the ark, the number of days Matt Sullivan vows to stay celibate in the movie "40 days and 40 nights", the amount of time allowed civil servants in Malaysia for their 'haj' and the duration of Rick Warren's 'Purpose Driven Life' series...
...and...
the current countdown to our wedding!!!!!
Things are starting to come together quickly. Invitations are almost finished and should be in the mail this week, Naomi picks up her wedding dress for the final time tomorrow or Wednesday, we meet with the photographer this Saturday and start going over exactly what we want in that department... this is really happening! Thank you, God!!!!!
I'm still just a tad excited, and really, who wouldn't be? This incredible, wonderful, amazing, gorgeous, talented, sexy woman has agreed to be my wife, and the start of the rest of our lives is just around the corner!
So, yeah... I'm a happy man.
If you haven't checked it out yet, our wedding website is here, and if you're on Facebook, you can check out Naomi's countdown calendar to 'The first day of being Mrs. VanDoren.'
The length of time Noah and his family was in the ark, the number of days Matt Sullivan vows to stay celibate in the movie "40 days and 40 nights", the amount of time allowed civil servants in Malaysia for their 'haj' and the duration of Rick Warren's 'Purpose Driven Life' series...
...and...
the current countdown to our wedding!!!!!
Things are starting to come together quickly. Invitations are almost finished and should be in the mail this week, Naomi picks up her wedding dress for the final time tomorrow or Wednesday, we meet with the photographer this Saturday and start going over exactly what we want in that department... this is really happening! Thank you, God!!!!!
I'm still just a tad excited, and really, who wouldn't be? This incredible, wonderful, amazing, gorgeous, talented, sexy woman has agreed to be my wife, and the start of the rest of our lives is just around the corner!
So, yeah... I'm a happy man.
If you haven't checked it out yet, our wedding website is here, and if you're on Facebook, you can check out Naomi's countdown calendar to 'The first day of being Mrs. VanDoren.'
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Flickr & a new background pic every 15 minutes
I finally got tired of always having the same background image on my MacBook. Not that I see it all that often, as it's usually cluttered with open windows from a million different projects, but I never really make the effort to see it, either, as it's somewhat boring. Not anymore...
DeskLickr is a free little program that runs in the menu bar of OS X and pulls down a new image from Flickr every so often to use as a desktop background. You can have it scan random images from all users, or just your own photostream. I uploaded some of my favorite background-type pictures here and set everything up, which by the way, is extremely simple. You can configure it to change images anywhere from every minute to every few hours.
So why not just use the 'Change Desktop Background' option in Leopard and have it cycle through a folder of pictures? I like the fact that I can use pics that are online as I keep some of my pictures on my external hard drive to save space and can't use them when I'm not at my desk. I also like the randomness of using other people's pics, too.
If you're using Windows there's a similar program written by someone different called DeskFlickr which you can check out here. I haven't tried using that one, as I don't have access to a Windows computer right, but it should work fairly similarly.
DeskLickr is a free little program that runs in the menu bar of OS X and pulls down a new image from Flickr every so often to use as a desktop background. You can have it scan random images from all users, or just your own photostream. I uploaded some of my favorite background-type pictures here and set everything up, which by the way, is extremely simple. You can configure it to change images anywhere from every minute to every few hours.
So why not just use the 'Change Desktop Background' option in Leopard and have it cycle through a folder of pictures? I like the fact that I can use pics that are online as I keep some of my pictures on my external hard drive to save space and can't use them when I'm not at my desk. I also like the randomness of using other people's pics, too.
If you're using Windows there's a similar program written by someone different called DeskFlickr which you can check out here. I haven't tried using that one, as I don't have access to a Windows computer right, but it should work fairly similarly.
Wedding Update
Yay! God is so faithful! We really are getting married! In August! In 45 days! I can't wait! I'm just a bit excited about it. The wedding will be at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Charlotte. God totally provided that one for us. We weren't even really considering it for a while, and then we went and looked at it, and both of us knew that it was the right place. We wrote a letter to their Session asking permission to get married there, and they said yes! Thank you God!!! Everything is coming together, and God has been so very, very good to us. It's amazing to me every day how much He cares about even the smallest detail of our lives.
So yeah... I'm just a bit excited. I can't wait to finally be married to the woman of my dreams! Thanks God!
So yeah... I'm just a bit excited. I can't wait to finally be married to the woman of my dreams! Thanks God!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
