I have been writing the last few weeks about a difficult decision Naomi and I have had in our wedding planning, but I didn't give many specifics. Here's the story; not only the problem we were facing, but also how God worked it out. It wasn't in the way that we were expecting, but it was in a way that glorifies Him above all.
When we were considering who to ask to marry us, God laid it on my heart that this was not a decision to be made lightly. We prayed for a long time about who we should ask, and finally made a decision. I spoke with the pastor to whom I felt God was leading, and he said that he would consider it and give us a decision in the next week. God had other plans, however. Due to numerous circumstances, he wasn't able to get back to us for a while, and when he did, he had reservations about being the one to marry us. I explained to him the leading I felt I was receiving from the Lord, and he explained his reservations, and we agreed to pray about it and discuss it again in a few days. I didn't know what to think, but God was very clear to me that I was to wait on Him, and trust in His plan and His timing. It wasn't easy. I wanted to start making alternate plans. I wanted to call up other pastors and see if they would be willing and available to marry us. But the Lord told me to wait.
It was a very difficult time for Naomi and I both. I couldn't see where the Lord was leading. I tried to second-guess Him. I grasped for answers and reasons when He was calling me to wait patiently in obedience to Him. Naomi had to trust that I was being led by the Spirit in this, and that we needed to wait on Him. God was speaking to me through this time, and all she had was the little bit that I was able to explain to her.
To shorten a rather lengthy story, we will be married by a different pastor than the one we had first asked. Looking back, I can see that maybe this was more about God working on me and changing some attitudes I had than it was about who was to marry us. I know that we are following God's will with the pastor who will perform the ceremony. That wasn't the point for Him, though. It was about testing me and teaching me.
Some things I've learned through this:
- When I try to question and understand God's ways, I am not being obedient to Him. Instead, I must humbly follow Him wherever He leads, even if that way doesn't make sense to me. When He speaks, my duty is to obey in faith, and without questioning. (Luke 6:46-49, John 14:23)
- God cares more about the means than the end. Sometimes the biggest struggles in life end without a 'fireworks show.' God uses the difficult stuff in life to test our faith in Him, and causes us to grow closer to Him through the experience, not the end result. (James 1:2-5)
- God grants us peace in the face of uncertainty when we trust in Him. Although this was a difficult time, God gave me the grace to trust in Him through all of it. And that peace of knowing that God was in control was what enabled us to praise Him even through the storm. (Philippians 4:6-7)
- When God really comes through for us, our first impulse should to be to share it with everyone! (Mark 5:19-20) This is where this post comes in. I know lots of you have been praying for us, and that's been awesome! God really worked this out! Not in the way we expected, but in His own way and His own timing. It has been an experience that I will not soon forget. He is awesome
God, I praise Your name! I worship and adore You, Lord of my life! You are too wonderful for me to comprehend, too marvelous for words! Father, thank You! Thank You for struggles in life, thank You for being always faithful. Thank You for being there and patiently drawing us closer to Yourself even when it is hard to see that in the midst of of fear and uncertainty. You alone are God, and I will serve You forever. I delight in You, my Savior and my God!
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