29 days, and I am so blessed...

Thank You, God, for weekends that I can see my girl!

I'm down in Waxhaw for the weekend. It's always so wonderful to be able to actually see and touch my gorgeous fiancee after a week of just talking on the phone and Skype. Everything we meant to say with our body language or expressions that got lost on the phone, every conversation where we couldn't seem to communicate like we wanted to, every night of just wishing that I could see her beautiful smiling face... it all seems OK on the weekends. It all fades into the background and just isn't as important now.

The drive down was awesome. Usually I hate driving, and that hasn't really changed, but I had a really intense, passionate, worshipful time spent with God this time. He showed me something that I knew as 'head knowledge' but haven't experienced as a 'heart truth.'
He showed me His holiness. The vast gulf that stands between sinful humans and a Perfect God is incredible. It's uncrossable by us. As the song says 'You are God in heaven, and here am I on earth. So I'll let my words be few...' God gave me just a glimpse of what His holiness means and how very, very far my sin separates me from Him. I felt unworthy of His attention. Small, ashamed, hiding my face.

And then He reached out to me. He didn't look the other way from my sin. He didn't pretend it wasn't sin, or that it didn't matter. He saw it, but what He saw was my sin on the shoulders of Jesus. He saw everything I've done as if it were Christ who had done those things. The one who knew no sin. Who never so much as even talked back to His parents. And when God saw that, He was satisfied. Christ already paid the punishment for those sins. He already died a horrible death with my sins weighing Him down. He was buried with my sins separating Him from the face of God. The one who once knew perfect communion with His Father, now torn apart from Him. His Father refusing to look at Him, unable to see Him in the sin that He carried.
My sin.
He did that for me. Why? I can't comprehend that. I am stunned, overwhelmed, flat on my face crying out 'Why, God? Why? Why would you do that for me?'

And when Christ conquered death, and rose from the grave, my sin was gone. It had been paid for. The sacrifice that God demanded as an atonement for my sin had been offered, and accepted. 'Oh, Lord, what love is this? That gave so freely; that I, the guilty one, may go free?' Tears streaming down my face, convicted over and over by sin in my life. Every careless word, every opportunity to share His love that I didn't take because I was scared of what people thought of me, every chance to encourage someone where I had a sarcastic remark instead. My anger that boils up when someone cuts me off in traffic, when something doesn't go the way I had so carefully planned...

I am so amazed every time God chooses to reveal something about Himself to me. It is incredible, and life changing. Each and every time. This afternoon was one of those times.


Father, I fall down at your feet in worship and adoration. You are awesome and mighty in your power and your holiness. There is nothing on earth or in the heavens that can compare with You. You are unsurpassed by any of your creation. There is none like you, my God and my King. My Lord, You alone are worthy of my praise and You alone are exalted above all things. I worship You.